Sometimes sleep is a dirty word.

I’m a bad sleeper, no really…. I am. Call it insomnia…or what ever, I’ve got it in spades. I am often, like tonight (it’s 1:41 am on Wednesday morning right now), still up when the rest of my family is sleeping.

My husband can fall asleep, it sometimes seems, as soon as his head hits the pillow. In those moments, I hate him…just a little bit. No, not really…I just envy him a lot and sometimes over active envy feels like hate. (Love you Honey!)

I envy any person who sleeps well, sleeps soundly, goes to sleep easily without the use of sleeping pills.

Because I sleep so poorly, I take sleeping pills. Prescriptions strength ones even, and yet many nights even after resorting to a sleeping pill, I stay up later than my family. Late enough for infomercials and lots of lovely re-runs. I’m glad that I enjoy Sci-Fi, because I get to watch all sorts of re-runs of Stargate SG:1 and Doctor Who. Yay me.

Still, I’m angry exasperated and frustrated that my body seems to have forgotten how to sleep. I believe it to be Motherhood related. I am not blaming my children, but I believe that becoming a mother is the reason.

Is that mad? Am I crazy? Maybe, perhaps, probably. The Barenaked Ladies know my plight.

Being up later than everyone else is sometimes calm and relaxing, but usually it’s a lonely time. It’s lonely because it’s waiting time….waiting for sleep to come…waiting.

I’m angry that I can not sleep, I’m envious of those who sleep well. I hate having to take medication to sleep.

If you’re a “sleeper” my grumpy hat is tipped to you. If you’re like me, unable to sleep, I feel for you.

Stay away from those infomercials, you don’t need 20 space bags.

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16 Comments

  1. Same here, I’m your “soul sister of sleeplessness”! It’s not unheard of for me to go to bed at 2AM. Everyone tells me to go to bed sooner, but if I do, I toss and turn for hours and fight anxiety about it so I might as well be up at 1AM and get stuff done. Tylenol PM helps, and if I didn’t have two little ones that often wake up in the middle of the night I’d be on something stronger. Just wanted you to know you aren’t alone in this one!

    • Hi Carrie!

      Thanks for the comment and for letting me know that I’m not sleepless alone.

  2. But think of all the stuff you could fit in 20 space bags! You’d have to do more infomercial shopping just to fill those bags!

    So sorry you have to deal with insomnia, nothing is more miserable than going without sleep when you really need it :( Hope you can find a solution that works for you. Being a mom sounds like a completely reasonable reason–it would be hard to turn it all off at night!

    • You’re bad. Now I’m wondering if I need those space bags after all!

  3. I suffer from insomnia at times (but not always) so I feel for you – no watching the shopping channels though….it can lead to buying weird things you donĀ“t need!

  4. Dr. Who reruns sound fun!

  5. Mine isn’t as extreme as yours, but I have a hard time falling asleep. and then I’m exhausted the next day.

    Hope you can figure out something to get some rest!

    • Thanks Shell! :) Me too.

  6. last time I couldn’t sleep I almost bought pajama jeans, my exhaustion paired with the infomercial made them seem like a good idea…
    and I’m sorry..I love sleep and I don’t know how I would deal if I had chronic insomnia

    • Ha! I almost bought pajama jeans too! Thank you for taking the time to comment!

  7. I am a chronic insomniac so can relate to this. In fact, yesterday I was wondering why you were commenting on my blog when you should have been asleep. I do not take meds but use natural products to assist me. The best I have found so far is Bach Sleep Remedy (if you cannot get it there let me know). I use that and a hand cream made with lavender and neroli essential oils. Good luck :)

    • Thanks Tandy! :) Yep, if I can not sleep, I prowl my favorite blogs… And I play pyramids on yahoo.

  8. Oh so sorry about your insomnia! I’m one of those who can sleep easily (don’t hate me) but I have an insomniac husband who refuses to take medication. So he just has a really screwed up sleep schedule. He goes to bed at 3,4, 5 am and sleeps til noon. Good thing he’s his own boss or he’ll get sacked! I have no solutions to offer you, except hope that you get some sleep. And soon.

    • I envy you! I sometimes take kids to school, and come back home and sleep for a bit longer. :)

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